I want to share with you a conversation I had with God the other day, with the hope of it helping or comforting you. It went somewhere along the lines of this:
God: why are you trying so hard?
Me: what? that was completely unrelated to what I was crying to you about…
God: think about it….
Me: I guess it is because I have these expectations in my head of who I want to be and I feel like I can’t meet them. I can’t be who I want you to be.
God: Maybe I have expectations of who I want you to be, and I am making you into who I want you to be.
Me: Oh. And what I am going through health-wise must fit in to that.
Me: Thank you.
Perhaps you also struggle with identity issues. You know who you want to be, and you try so hard to be that person, whether it is the perfect wife, or an ever-giving mother, or a hard-working employee, or an obedient child of God. I don’t know. But you are not by yourself, and maybe you have to give up the idea you have of who you want to be, and give in to God’s ability to fashion you into the person He wants you to be. Give up trying so hard to render yourself into who you think is the best person you can be, because God may have a different idea. An even better one. A more practical one. One that He designed. There is no point trying to be someone who God has not determined you to be.
For me, becoming the person that God has designed me to be consists of nothing less than seeking Him; he orchestrates every opportunity that he wants me to take to come my way. I need not seek anything apart from him. Every trial that we go through, every difficult or joyful or mesmerizing experience that we have, he uses to shape us into who He wants us to be.
God’s grace be multiplied unto you.
photo taken from: https://www.fotolia.com/tag/wheel